EagleScorpion

Let's face it.

Nobody likes those damn customs people. They are conniving, rude, miserable people who hate thier jobs and wish to take it out on you in any way they can. That is why it is EXTREMELY important to heed this advice as it may very well save your ass from ALOT OF DRIVING FOR NOTHING - - or even worse, your own car being appropriated by the US or Canadian government...Believe me, I have travelled nine hours from New Jersey to the Canadian border SIX times, and THREE of those times I was turned away; forced to drive the grueling 9 hours back without the joy of having attended a hulla. This is probably one of the worst things that could ever happen to somebody, and I dont wish it upon my worst enemy. This is why I present to you newbies:

***EagleScorpion's Official Guide to Crossing the Canadian Border in One Piece***

Rule #1 - Make sure you are dressed in NORMAL clothes when reaching the border.
Customs will tear you a new asshole if they see you in UFO's and candy bracelets. They are known to plant blunt roaches in your car on purpose just so they can rip your car apart and make your day miserable . ABSOLUTLY NO CANDY!! They know about Hulla, and they dont like Hullaravers! I dont know why they could ever dislike a Hullaraver, but they do.

Rule #2 - If you have ever been arrested in the United States for ANY drug related charge in THE PAST FIVE YEARS, dont even bother trying to cross the border. THEY WILL TURN YOU AWAY. I learned this the hard way. I am currently in the process of clearing my crimminal record. This can be done with a good lawyer for a small nominal fee of $1,000.

Rule #3 - Absolutely NO DRUGS!!!! They WILL find them. That is what they are trained to do, and they are good at reading people and discerning whether or not they are hiding something. They will finger you in the ass!!!!! LITERALLY!!! Make sure you smoked all the weed before you reach the border, and before you get there, stop at a service station where there is a vacuum available and clean out the floor of your car until it is IMMACULATE. One pot seed can be the difference between you attending a hulla and you having to drive home. Besides, what idiot would try to smuggle weed into CANADA? Thats like trying to smuggle candy into a candy factory.

Rule #4 - Be Respectful. Try to get along with the guy, as hard as it may seem. Yeah, he's a total fucking asshole!! (Some of you might even know the specific guard I am talking abowt), but try and get him to laugh somehow. He hates his job. Brighten up his day.. maybe he'll give you a break . When you drive up to the customs offical, he's gonna ask you a few quuestions. "What are you bringing with you in your car?" "What is your business in Canada and where are you going?" Dress all nerdy like college students and tell them you are going to check out college campuses. That one worked for us twice.

Rule #5 - Dont bring with you any convicted felons, fugitives, or people who have recieved a drug charge in the past five years. I tried to bring a friend who was going to jail in one week. We were trying to see if we could get him across the border so he wouldnt have to go to jail. This kept me from going to GET HYPE. On the way back we stopped at a McDonalds and we told them our sad story so they gave us a bunch of free food. This did little to ease my melancholy. My friend has been in jail for 2 years now. He will be out in one more year.

Rule #6 - Dont FORGET YOUR PASSPORT HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE!! Once you are across the border it is SMOOTH SAILING AHEAD!!!

THANK YOU FOR READING

HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT TO
DRIFT ON A DREAM! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! :h)

(i wish i could) ::frowns::

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Ndakasimba kana makasimbawo

Weaver

.....

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The cake is a lie.

Sexy.kitten

Try not to make that post worry you too much....you dont want to appear nervous at the border.

CandyGirl23

I cross the border all the time... it's not that terrible, and even if you get searched if you're not doing anything you're not supposed to you're usually fine and are just stuck there a lil longer.

Dress normally (no big raver pants.... they do spot those right away), be respectful, answer all their questions and DON'T LIE. (I always say i'm going to toronto drinking with friends... if they ask where say you're going to a show at the opera house) DO NOT BRING pipes, pacifiers, rolling papers, or anything else that might be considered paraphanalia. Bring your birth certificate or a passport to prove that you were born in the US (or all the papers you'd need if you aren't...i don't know what those are). and if you have crazy colored hair, you might want to wear a hat to cover it. Those are the main things that will allow for a smooth border crossing. It's not the end of the world if you get searched as long as you're not breaking any laws.

dianejapa

that sort of seems like common sense to me... especially that part about 'no drugs'.... im sorry but if you really think youre going to be able to successfully smuggle drugs across the border then youre stupid. and even if you are successful, tehn you're stupid to take such a huge risk. its just not worth it

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psychosis

its not as bad as he made it seemed when i drove to wemf getting cross the border was no problem at all...they didnt even check our ids...i was just wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, but like i had 3 other people in the car one of which had dreads and yarn in her hair, i have a sticker on my dash that says im a raver not a fucking drug addict and a bunch of dj stickers and they were cool...just be super polite and dont act nervous and you will be fine and just look normal....and last summer i even accidentally brought a gram of coke over the border with me i forgot it was in my wallet until we got across the border....i guess im just lucky

Mr.Me

I always tell them that i'm going to a concert and then throw out one of the dj's names thats spinning. I've never had a problem crossing the boarder.

Does anyone know if they keep track of how many times you cross the boarder?? Like when they get your license plate number if that is put into a computer or something and if they know if your coming and going over the boarder a lot. Just wondering.

DJ Tranzit

Yes.. they DO track your plate number.
Everytime you pull up to those stations, your car and plate is photographed. It is logged. That is why they can ask you "how long have you been out of the country" or something of the sort when you are coming back, and they KNOW the answer.

Other tips:

1 - Dont bring ANYTHING you dont specifically need. Ie: Clean out your trunk before leaving. Clean the car, clean the glove box, center console, etc... you never know what you might find, and sometimes it might be something you DONT want to bring (ie: an old pipe, or a pack of papers, etc..)

2 - If you DO choose to do drugs (specifically marijana), hold off. Dont smoke before you cross. Dont smoke for a day before you leave. The smell DOES linger on your clothes, and it WILL linger in the car, even though YOU dont smell it, their dogs WILL.

3 - Turn off your cell phones, pagers, etc while crossing. There is nothing worse than getting a phone call during the questioning. Not cool.

4 - Greet the guard with a smile and a cheery attitude. Not TOO cheery. Don't be bouncing around, yet have some happyness in your voice. Something easy is "Good afternoon Sir". Manners DO count. I have crossed back and forth many times, and a respectful attitude goes a LONG way. Be sure to

5 - Don't lie about anything. They WILL find out. Remember... these people have more authority than the police and many other government agencies. They'll know stuff you dont even know about yourself. And I'm NOT joking. If they ask you a question, answer it the best you can in the quickest time possible. They dont need to know your life story or parts of it. They only care about the question they asked you, and they want a QUICK, CLEAR AND CONCISE answer. Never say "I dont know", "Maybe", or something vauge like that.

6 - Everyone in the car have your ID READY. This does not mean in your pocket. Make a quick pit stop a mile before the boarder. Get your stuff in check. ID in hand, car clean (outside of the car helps a bit too!), etc.. Important thing is the ID in hand. Ready to give to them if asked.

7 - Turn all music OFF. not low volumes... OFF. There's not need for it.

8 - If someone pisses you off or cuts you off in line for the booth, let it be. Never honk, rev your engine, or anything of the sort. Just let it go. I have seen people turned away for being idiots before the boarder. I'm pretty sure Wolf can vouche for me on this one. We had a good laugh at the expense of some arrogant American teenage girls. We were polite and we scooted right in. It was great. They however got the third degree, then sent back.

9 - If you are wearing a hat, try and take it off if you can. They like to see your face. If you are wearing a hat, it may give off the impression you are hiding something.

10 - make sure EVERYONE in the car is COMPLETELY clear on what the story is on why you are crossing. Make the story VERY simple, very clear and very concise. Mutual friend's birthday party in Toronto, you're going to check out the bars in Toronto, or something like that.... Try and not let it get too extravegant. If there is a sporting event, research that. Such as a Blue Jays game or something. MAKE SURE THEY ARE ACTUALLY PLAYING THAT DAY AND YOU ARE CROSSING WITH ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE IT TO THE GAME YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY GOING TO.. Say you're staying in the city for the night and coming back the next day.

11 - let the driver do the talking. Passangers... do not talk unless you are asked a question or addressed by the guard. There's nothing worse than someone jumping into an answer. Makes it seem like you're disorganized or there's something to hide.

12 - smokers... butt out before coming up to the booth. While making the pit stop shortly before, get your last smoke in, and supress the cravings until you cross. DO NOT HAVE A LIT CIGARETTE while at the booth.

So.. recap

-smile on face
-ID in hand
-quick, POLITE, concise and CLEAR answers to all questions.
-dont talk unless you're being talked to.
-music off
-tell the TRUTH
-dont smoke / do other drugs before crossing
-again.. BE POLITE.


best of luck
see you all there

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CareSieB

^^^ these are the exact things i told my friends, some of which didnt think its too important, but all these things ARE important, NO ONE wants to get turned away at the border...

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happy1

WOW! ididnt know this shit! i had have never been to canada and i had no idea that they did this kind of crazy shit. i want to go to a hulla someday and i want zero trouble. thank you for the warning. i am an american raver and this really hurts me to hear about this. i guess 1984 is in effect and big brother really is watching you.=-0 =-0. that is so fucked up! im sorry for the bad feelings but it outrages me when i hear about innocent people being targeted by such evil people like that. the part that pisses me off is that they can get away with planting shit in your car. thanks again for the warning dude.

dianejapa

i went to york university for a year so i have a bunch of friends in toronto, so thats alwayz my story. going to visit them. even if other people come too, we're all going to toronto for hte weekend and staying with one of my friends. it seems to soften their hearts somehow when i mention york, or maybe its just a really good convincing story. he one and only time we didn't use that story, was when they ripped our car apart and planted drugs on us and kept us there for like two hours. i was drving up with someone i never had before and he didnt like my story, and he decidie it would be better to act really nervous and say we were going to the guvernment, even tho my friend linzee was only like 17. see what happens when people dont listen to me??

Busta

That's what I use to do. I mean, I'm not doing anything remotely illegal so why not just be honest and cooperative right? Well I guess not because I get pulled over and searched nearly every time. And I look just like a normal joe driving to Canada for the weekend. They can be real jerks too. I've had a friend who said they planted drugs on the ground next to their car. They never went that far with me but they did once swear up and down that they smelled pot in my car and insisted I tell them where it was. Trust me there is no possible way this could have been true. I don't get it. When I go with my friend and he drives he always makes up some BS story and we get right thru. I guess honesty isn't always the best policy. Too bad I'm not a good liar.

Side note: When I went thru Australian customs I was greeted with a smile and the only thing they were worried about was some dirt on my shoe which they cheerfully washed off for me. I don't understand what the deal is with the US-Canada people.

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CareSieB

i have been to canada, let me see, 14 times, including once when i was a minor and ran away and was a missing person, and never once had i had any problem at customs, once when i flew they asked me a few extra questions, but when driving i never have any issues and i always follow every suggestion made above by dj tranzit

Weaver

It would really piss me off if they planted drugs in my car because i don't touch the stuff.

CareSieB

it would piss me off too, do they do it just to get you to admit where you real drugs are, or what...sounds rediculous to me

Mr Skittles

I have never once been denied access into Canadia. granted, we've been searched several times. They asked us where we were going, and we told them "An electronic music festival in toronto" There's no point of lying. They cant deny you access because of a "music festival" But of course they were suspiscious of us smuggling drugs, thus being the reason as to why we were always getting searched. Yes, they found our kandi, yes they found binkis, but they never said anything about them. They knew we were ravers, and that we were goin to a party.

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dianejapa

i jsut dont bring things like binkies over the border. if im gonna need something like that i just pick it up at a store when i get there... that way theres nothing even semi drug related in our car

ka0tique

... where do people buy binkies. I think my mouth would thank me many times if I had one.

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dianejapa

any drug store. my before hulla binky buying was usually done at a shoppers drug mart down the street from outer space

dianejapa

be caerful, binkies wont nesssecarily save your mouth either. sometimes constant chewing wont do anyhting to make your jaw feel any better. it can actually make it worse depending on the manner your chewing. and i broke off the tip of my right canine tooth biting thru one once. now i chew gum

ka0tique

R.I.P. Outer Space Records


I know the one you mean, I worked just south of there this summer. It was fun visiting James (Tyco) on my lunch break and getting my tix. Much more fun than going to numb.

ka0tique

I've taken a liking to Bubblicious and Hubba Bubba lately. My mouth was a mess in June.

Weaver

what is a binkies?

ka0tique

another name for a pacifier.